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There now follows an extract from a recent Radio 4 programme by Mr Andrew Marr. * **
This unbroadcast segment from a Start the Week interview was with Gordon and Muriel Wellbeloved, members of the House of Laity within the Church of England.
Marr Well, good morning both and I’ll get right to the point – the House of Laity appears to have scotched the Archbishop elect’s plans to have women bishops.
Gordon [for it is he] I think Muriel should answer that.
Muriel Lovely scones.
Marr Thank you
Muriel I like a good scone.
Marr But you don’t like the idea of women bishops?
Muriel No I certainly don’t, do I, Gordon?
Gordon No you don’t, Muriel.
Muriel I mean, its not natural is it? God’s a man.
Marr Well, I don’t know how you can know that frankly, but the head of the Anglican Church, Her Majesty the Queen, is a woman, is she not?
Muriel Well, yes, but I’m not THAT keen on having a woman king, quite honestly.
Marr So you’re opposed to women holding high office of any sort?
Muriel Yes. Women are the home-makers, the carers of children, the creators of good scones … and these really are very good.
Marr Well thank you again, but …
Muriel Who made them?
Muriel Yes. I bet it was a woman.
Marr I’m at a loss what to say …
Gordon [for it is he] That makes a change. Fnaar.
Marr I mean, the Anglican Church has for years striven to achieve sexual equality in its clerical structure and now …
Muriel Oooh, I don’t care for that word at all, do I, Gordon?
Gordon No you don’t, Muriel.
Muriel And I’ll tell you another thing: I’m not keen on women vicars either. Just a load of man-ladies if you ask me. I mean, just look at their haircuts – all short back and sides, parading about the place reciting the holy words like God the Father, see? The Father! Its not God the Mother is it?
Marr So you see women in an entirely subservient role?
Muriel I never said that!
Gordon No, she didn’t
Muriel Quiet, Gordon! But no, I do not. Men like to be top dog. They like to be boss. Gordon likes to be boss, don’t you, Gordon? Gordon’s a Mason and wears silly praphernalia, don’t you, Gordon?
Gordon Yes I do, Muriel.
Muriel And I allow him to demonstrate to the outside world that he IS the boss. He is allowed to choose which hat to wear and which route we take to church. Aren’t you, Gordon?
Gordon Yes, Muriel.
Muriel So it follows that bossy roles in our church should be fulfilled by men, thoughtfully assisted by women who can organise cake sales and collections for the needy of the parish.
Marr So it might be imagined that your vision of a perfect Anglican church is closer to Rome with its male head and male clergy?
Muriel To the papists? Never! Can’t be doing with all that Latin mumbo-jumbo and all their miracles. You just don’t know where you are with them with their Virgin Birth nonsense. No, but I just know in my bones that a man should be boss, don’t I, Gordon?
Gordon Yes you do, mine own, so that you can help us be the sort of boss you think a boss should be.
Muriel Careful, Gordon
Marr Well sadly, we’re out of time, and I notice, scones.
* As heard by Bill Stott
** Mr Marr denies everything
September 14, 2009 in General
After several years as the plucky underdog, the Professional Cartoonists’ Organisation’s team, this year rebranded as Team Bloghorn, has finally emerged victorious from the annual Battle of the Cartoonists.
Our team came joint first with Private Eye in the Big Draw event in which four teams completed a large banner on the theme of “Now We Are Ten”, celebrating a decade of The Campaign for Drawing. They faced stiff competition from teams from The Sun and The Independent.
Work in progress: Clive and Pete get drawing. Click here, to see the full, completed banner
In a post-match interview, Pete told the Bloghorn: “Justice and victory at last for the PCO’s Battle of the Cartoonists’ team, albeit jointly with the Eye (Shurely shome mistake – Ed). What seemed like a clear-cut decision was mysteriously drawn out into a “cheer-off” head-to-head. And even then our clearly louder decibel reading was insufficient for us to be declared outright winners. A big draw indeed!”
But the event is not just about the glory of winning. PCO members Tim Harries, and Cathy Simpson were on hand to run drawing workshops for children and adults at the event, which took place at the Idea Generation gallery in Shoreditch, London.
December 18, 2007 in General
News of an early christmas present for the PCO as Bloghorn can report that TV’s Andrew Marr has signed up as one of our patrons. We don’t hand these honours out lightly and as he’s got to follow the late great Alan Coren, perhaps we should be extending sympathy to the poor man too. But, welcome aboard Mr Marr, we and our other patron, Libby Purves, are most pleased to have you.
19th December 2007
British cartoon talent
October 15, 2007 in General
The PCO put itself on show at the weekend at the Big Draw. A big thank you to all the members who helped run the workshops that filled large parts of Covent Garden market over last weekend. Particular hat-tips to Anne and Andy Gilbert and Tim and Nikki Harries who man and womanfully worked the crowds and encouraged our future readers to develop their natural love of drawing and jokes. Other names and faces of PCOers fighting the good fight were Chichi Parrish (who also ran a workshop), Ger Whyman, Royston Robertson, Andy Davey, Terry Christien and Matt Buck.*
Our big banner team fought their corner in the gladiatorial battle of the cartoonists and there will be a full report from Team Captain Bill Stott following this message. They also crossed swords with the Beeb’s former political editor, Andrew Marr, but more of that anon.
Bloghorn says watch this space…
* Please tell me if I lost anyone in the crush!