Sir – Before you cartoonist johnnies start attacking those least able to defend themselves and who are presently enduring all manner of innuendo and slur at the hands of the leftist lackey Lord Leveson, I would ask you to take a moment to reflect upon the Great British Freedoms which are at stake here.

As I understand it, there is nothing in law to prevent a serving Prime Minister from nipping down the road in his pyjamas in the evening to call upon a flame-haired, female, similarly clad, fortysomething national newspaper editor.

I have it on good authority that there were others present. Suggestions that the two special branch officers on duty that night wore nighties is a vile calumny. In fact, both favoured silk loungers.

It is typical of our Prime Minister that he should seek to offer solace to those threatened by scurrilous rumour ; to exercise a lady’s horse in times of stress; and more recently, have her house swept for any incriminating audio-visual evidence.

I am,
Yours sincerely,
Sir Arthur Scrimmage (Col. Retd)
Glossop Open Prison

Delivered by Bill Stott